This I Believe

Keziah - Long Prairie, Minnesota
Entered on May 25, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: forgiveness

My best friend was murdered about 3 years ago. It was early spring when I should have been happy, picking flowers and wearing t-shirts. Instead I was rudely forced to learn what forgiveness really means. In high school you have spats with your friends and with the teachers, but nothing that can’t be fixed with a little sorry or a compromise of some sort. This was different though because first off I never saw it coming. There was no way that the wrong could be made right, not by either party.

When you break your mom’s favorite vase, of course she gets upset and maybe you even get a punishment. But you say your sorry, she gives you a hug and you are forgiven. Time and time again in life people stick their feet in their mouths doing things that hurt others. Over and over again they are forgiven by those they have hurt. Sometimes it takes awhile for the wounds to heal but the friendships stay intact.

At the time all I wanted to do was scream. To be given a chance to inflict the same kind of pain on those two men that they had on my friend and his family. Although the law stepped in and did it’s job, I just couldn’t stop hating them. When one came to his senses in jail and committed suicide all I could do was smile inside. What kind of a person did that make me? I was brought up to forgive even when it seemed impossible.

You hear about stories in the news of mothers and fathers forgiving the person that may have killed their son or daughter. After the other man was sentenced to spend the rest of his life behind bars I got to thinking about those stories. They take true forgiveness, the kind that’s only found in some peoples hearts. I had been looking so long for a way to bring my friend and his family back that I had let my heart fill up with hate and nothing else. It took close to 2 and half years before I could think about my friend without feeling rage for those that took his young life.

I believe in forgiveness pure and simple. People have told me that I didn’t have to forgive them and maybe that’s correct. I realized though what good was it going to do me holding on to the pain. Forgiveness is often times a hard thing, but I believe in forgiving and moving on. What a blessing it is that we all have the ability to forgive, cause it makes this world a better place. Who knows when the next time may come up that you need to forgive or be forgiven. I believe in it and will do it the rest of my life.