everyone makes mistakes…
For nineteen years, I can honestly say I have stayed faithful to making mistakes. I will confess- I stole as a child and broke some hearts but undoubtedly I will admit to each indiscretion. Till this day, I value each mistake as an experience- since each mistake has shaped me to who I am today.
I remember the day I broke two hearts, his and mine. Brian had been my first love and we all know what that feels like. After seventeen months I finally told him I wasn’t in love with him anymore. For fifteen months we built an empire- in the last two we watched it fall. Those last two months defeated my image of true love because true love never lets you down and I had finally decided-it was going to take more this time.
We had broken up, but for two months I couldn’t let go. I kept giving him hope we would get back together because without me he pleaded destruction. I truly loved him; I simply wasn’t in love with him. In every way imaginable- his pain, was my pain. For weeks I would ignore my actual feelings for Brian by avoiding him and insisting on a “break,” while realistically I merely could not face the reality that I wasn’t in love with him anymore, and everything I had worked for and built for the past year and a half was over. He was my B; I called him my ‘Babycakes’- I could never prepare myself for any of the words or tears. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until the tears had been cried, dried and buried that I realized my mistakes. I thought I was sparing him all this pain but in the end, it only made it that much worse. At that time, I thought that if I kept him happy temporarily, he would eventually fade away and move on- and all the pain could be avoided. Today, as I think back to every Brian memory, I don’t apply any sense of regret towards my mistakes but continue to transform my bad choices into knowledge. Even though I consider the love I shared with Brian unreal, I believe the knowledge I obtained from the failures has allowed me to sustain a successful relationship with my current boyfriend Shaun.
I believe that no one is, was or will ever be perfect; people will always make mistakes- its whether people choose to learn from their mistakes that’s makes the difference. Mistakes essentially create knowledge. My health Professor Dan Gerber once stated that, “Adults learn 20% of what they see, 40 % of what they see and hear and 80% of what they discover for themselves.” Throught out my various experience I have discovered that while exploring the unknown – people are naturally bound to fail. I believe in failing, getting up and trying again- only the second time around, you conquer the first mistake and then you make a new one.
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