This I Believe

Sara - Phoenix, Arizona
Entered on May 19, 2006
Age Group: Under 18

I believe in spending time alone

I believe in spending time alone. I believe in sitting in your room with nobody but yourself. Whether it’s on the floor of my closet or in my bed, my alone time is so important to me. It’s the time I get all to myself, to think of whatever or whoever I want. Whether its happy or sad, my mind can wander in infinite directions. I can listen to music, cry for hours, or just stare at the ceiling in silence. However, my favorite thing to do is cry. It may sound weird, but being all alone in my room just crying can make me feel so much better. Not crying to someone else, or crying to my mom. Just all alone. Just me. It may sound dramatic and corny, but when I get upset, running to my room and locking the door is exactly what I do.

I remember so vividly two years ago doing this exact thing. My mom was on a month long trip and my dad was home with my sister and I. We had all gotten in an argument, and all of a sudden my dad decided to make it worse and tell us him and my mom were getting a divorce. It came out of nowhere. It was something I had always feared. According to him, it was all her fault and it was all on her. The second he told me I ran to my closet and cried. I called my mom, asking if it was true, sobbing uncontrollably. After I hung up I tried to relax, and maybe breathe a little. But it didn’t work. The crying wouldn’t stop and my mind wouldn’t slow down. My thoughts were everywhere and I just didn’t know what to do.

After more time went by, I began to calm down. I remained alone for the rest of the night, just gathering composure. My mind comforted my heart and I told myself it would all be ok. I regularly have these breakdowns and just run to my room to be all alone. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I think. But no matter what, afterwards I always unwind. I always come to my senses. And I always feel better. My alone time allows me to comfort myself in whatever way necessary. The way I think of it, I know myself the best, so I may as well spend time with just me to settle my problems. Like I said before, it could be silence, crying, or music, but no matter what my alone time never seems to let me down.