This I Believe

Stephanie - West Hills, California
Entered on May 18, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love, setbacks

Volunteering to be a Victim

Traditionally, a victim is defined as a person who is harmed by, or made to suffer from an act. Nowadays, we all consider ourselves a victim to every obstacle life throws our way. Someone breaks into our car and we call ourselves the victim of a crime ..Someone cheats us and we say we were taken advantage of ..Someone in our life continuously treats us badly and we can’t understand why we’re the victims of such emotional abuse. We even have a saying for it.. “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I think these good people are the ones allowing the negativity to victimize them. In my eyes, people shouldn’t feel sorry for themselves. I think that in any situation life may throw at you, you have to make the best of it. If you don’t choose to remove yourself from those bad places your just volunteering yourself as the object of negativity. I believe that in life, there are no victims, but only volunteers.

My sixteenth year of life was the start of my love life. With the allowance of my first boyfriend came my first heartbreak.. I got cheated on and dumped shortly after I found out. I did what any teenage girl in my situation would do…I sat in my bed watching chic flicks with tissues and a quart of ice cream. Eventually the boy who let me go came to me telling me about how he missed me and how he was sorry for his mistake. After I took him back, I found out the hard way that he just wasn’t the faithful type. I couldn’t understand why he’d done that to me and why I deserved to be mistreated like that. Looking back, I see now that my pain wasn’t a punishment; it was my own doing because I allowed myself to be taken advantage of. I was not a victim of life’s bad circumstances, I was just a volunteer to it.

Now, I choose to not put myself in positions where I could potentially be the object of harm, and if I do get put into bad positions, I choose to remove myself from those places. If people gossip about me, I choose to realize that words are nothing but a collection of sounds. If someone breaks into my car, I choose to learn from my experience and be more aware of my surroundings the next time around. If someone does something to hurt my feelings I choose to cut them out of my life so they can’t hurt me anymore. I believe in not volunteering to be a victim.