This I Believe

Melinda - Tucson, Arizona
Entered on May 18, 2006

I believe in loyalty. If you don’t have loyalty than you pretty much aren’t good. I grew up not thinking very highly of myself because I was afraid that if I showed too much loyalty that people would make fun of me and I didn’t want that. When I came to St. Augustine’s I had friends, but they were never the friends that I could call on the weekend to hang out, because they were more into drinking and partying and doing wild stuff then I did, so I didn’t go. They were never loyal enough to respect my wishes and not drink or party when they were with me, so I thought well I have to change for them instead because I wanted friends so badly I would do anything to try and keep them. I ended up losing them anyway from something much stupider. That was my freshman year of high school. It all changed in my following years to much worse.

The next year, my sophomore year I was what my friends considered a good girl and they were always quiet around me when they were talking about their plans for the weekend. I always hated it because I was so stupid to follow them around and bring the presents when they never did any of that for me in return. I still went strong and didn’t do anything just to make them happy. I ended up being best friends with someone I never thought I would. We are still best friends to this day.

My junior year would have to be my worst school year, this was the year I really messed up and turned towards anything to make me feel better, because I didn’t like how my life was going. I turned towards drugs and alcohol, not as bad as some people would get, but just enough for me. I ended up getting caught by the principal, and I was lucky, because if I had been caught by the police it would have been much worse then it was. I started changing towards the end of the school year because I had such loyal friends who stood by me to tell me that I didn’t need drugs and alcohol to help me, that as long as I had my family and friends that I would be all right. So I did I gave up everything and I have my two best friends who I don’t know what I’d do without. They are like my sisters and I don’t know what I’d do without them. These two people make me feel whole and good inside.

This is what I believe in and will always believe in because I think loyalty is so important, especially if you hit rock bottom. You need loyal family members and friends to be there for you to make everything all better, and to know you are loved and should not do stupid things to try and make yourself feel better.