I believe in hope. As far back as I can remember, hope, was at the root of all of my decisions and thoughts. Hoping for good Christmas presents, hoping to go fishing with dad or grandpa, hoping to get some new cloths for school this year, hoping to eat something besides government issued cheese and rice, hoping not hear mom and dad fighting, hoping to hang out with my older sister and her friends and hoping not to get caught for whichever ridiculous stunt I pulled off that day. I suppose growing up with very little money and a big imagination may have played a fairly big part in the development and importance of hope in my life.
I was also raised with the influence of alcoholism and addiction all around me, what I mean to say is that all of my young life I hoped to be just like my father and his associates; riding a Harley Davidson or driving a Corvette with tattoos and a care free, hard core attitude. That was one thing I had really hoped for growing up, the other hope that I had as a child and even carried into my adult life was hoping that everyone liked me, accepted me and thought I was cool.
As you can imagine, the lifestyle my father had chosen was one that left him absent from our family much of the time, however, my mother was always there doing her best to keep me entertained. Well as I got older my hope started becoming my reality, I launched myself into a very uncomfortable world of addiction, manipulation, lying and cheating. I suppose that was exactly what I had unknowingly hoped for, until I was there. To make a long gruesome story short, when I was finally ready to get out of that ugly world that I was submerged in, the level of I hope that I had carried with me most of my life made it a heck of a lot easier to get out successfully and stay out. Hope has carried me 2.5 years away from that place and I am in school, working full time and when I have children I will instill the thought of hope with positive action so they may not have to take the same path. I know the way I was raised was more a benefit than a hardship; hope is what I believe in.
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