This I Believe

I Believe There Are Signs

It’s better to believe without seeing, than to need to see to believe. Ever since I was little, I believed in God. I have not walked through this life alone. As I look back on these last 29 years I have “seen” many times, the little love-taps left for me.

Once when I was very young I had missed the bus home from school. I tried to walk home, but I was going in circles and these nats were every where, flying in my face. I began to get really scared and just prayed that I could get to a street that I recognized. I got this idea that maybe the nats were supposed to guide me home. So instead of avoiding them I walked only on the sidewalks where they were. I sang “Jesus loves me” all the way to my front door.

Another time I was driving on bald tires, scared to death they were going to blow. I had just had the oil changed and the mechanic told me that my tires needed changed so badly that wires were coming out of one of them. He recommended that I not drive on them until they were fixed. I had a two hour drive ahead of me, but he said they would never make it. I didn’t have the money for new tires. I had no choice but to drive the two hours home. I began to pray while I drove. Suddenly, I began to see signs spray painted in green. It was on overpasses, road signs, and buildings. They read: Jesus loves you. Have faith. I felt relief all over me, and once again I made it home safely.

This past March 19th, 2006, was the 6th anniversary of my best friends’ death. Every year I go to her grave and I just have a “com-a-part”. As I drove to school the previous Tuesday, the anticipation of that visit was building. I prayed out loud that she was with God and he would just give her an extra song for me. I remember as soon as I said it, I thought, “That’s a weird thing to say.” That night I went to a ladies bible study group. As I sat there, not really participating, something caught my interest. Mrs. Mahoney was telling another woman that there is no reference in the bible to angels singing. She told her angels don’t sing in heaven, people do. My heart leapt! Could this mean that Leslie was singing in heaven?

That was a nice little “poke” from God, but I was still not looking forward to the cemetery visit that Sunday. So I went to church not really wanting to be there. I wanted to just get it over with. I closed my eyes as the morning singing began. I began to hear beautiful music. It just surrounded me. As I opened my eyes, the next song was up on the projector screen. The words to it read: “Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also. The body they may kill. His truth abideth still.” My sadness turned to joy at that moment. I can’t tell you what those words did for me. When I went to Leslie’s grave that evening, I could not cry. I could only smile.

I have seen the hand of God working through my life. I have felt his presence in times of fear, despair, and joy. Seeing isn’t why I believe. I believe, therefore I see.