This I Believe

Tina - Lincoln, Nebraska
Entered on May 4, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

Ram in the Thickets

I have never known nor ever seen my biological father before, and sometimes it hurts. It hurts because it is a little difficult to really understand who I am without knowing who he is. Sometimes I just don’t care about knowing and yet sometimes I really want to know. Nothing and no one in my life has been able to satisfy the desire that I possess to know who my real father is and I thought that no one would be able to satisfy my longing to have a father/daughter relationship with someone. This is why I love God because He knows just what you need long before you even think to ask for it.

Upon my mother becoming engaged our family ended up moving to Colorado and it tore me in pieces. I just knew that it was going to be the end of my life as I knew it. But like God provided a ram in the thickets for Isaac, my ram would be a choir director from the Park Hill Seventh-day Adventist church in Denver, Colorado named Matthew Paris. Exactly what I wanted and everything I’ve needed at just the right time.

Matthew did not tell me that he was going to be my dad even though he knew I didn’t have one and I didn’t ask him to be my dad, even though I so badly wanted one. Everything came together just because it did. I could and still do talk to him about everything even things that most kids don’t talk to their parents about, I talk to Matthew about. He prayed me through some of the most difficult moments in my life and rejoiced with me through the joyful occasions in my life. When I made stupid decisions, I just knew that he was going to leave me since I am not his biological responsibility, but he didn’t. Matthew hung in there with me and reassured me that his love for me did not & would not change.

Matthew has taught me and showed me so many things about life, love, and most importantly God. Through my unique relationship with him, I have inherited brothers, aunts, uncles, and many other family members and extended family that love and support me. The added bonus is that they are all singers just like I am and this is much better than wanting to be a part of a biological family that I don’t know and that there is no promise of knowing. I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Matthew has given me and done for me what no one else on earth could have done for me. I know who I am because he’s showed me who God is and how much God loves me. I love and appreciate him for being all that God calls him to be. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.