This I Believe

Alexis - Elkins Park, Pennsylvania
Entered on April 20, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: love, purpose

This, I believe:

Years ago, a friend shared her own words of wisdom “There is a lid for every pot”. Skeptical, cynical me argued that this was just a wife’s tale. About a month later, I became a believer.

I met my spouse of 18 years and came to hear her words ringing in my ears. I had some ‘serious suitors’ over the years, ran 3,000 miles away from home with my “soul mate” at 18 years old, returned 3 years later and turned down 2 other proposals of marriage, always coming up with varying denials of affection. I would never marry a man who had red hair, never wanted to bear a red headed child. When another serious suitor with a receding hair line asked for my hand in marriage, I refused his affections with a blithe “I’ll never be married to a man who will eventually bald”.

That old expression, God hears, God laughs — is true.

I ended up marrying the pot of my lid, my boss. We joke, that since I was a “temp”, it was easier to convince him to marry me, than hire me – his response ‘business is business’.

He, too, came close to marriage several times before we met. But after some serious reflection of religion, child rearing and other serious lifestyle considerations, those women fell short of his desire.

My husband, Stuart, and I are the true Yin & Yang of relationships. He is quiet, introspective, soft spoken & reserved. He is like a chess master, weighing his every move against the opponent. I am like the wind – I go wherever my gut takes me and react to each situation with abandon. I’m loud, wild & impetuous but on the serious matters of life, we agree. On politics, on choice, on child rearing and on religion there is harmony. We’ve weathered some serious heart aches in our marriage, the death of a parent, the premature death of a beloved brother, serious financial misfortune but through it all we have sustained ourselves with humor and perseverance.

We have outlived the many predictions of the naysayers: The difference in our religions and the gap in our ages has not diminished our affection and love for each other, nor has it impacted our quality of life. We adjust, we adapt, we move on, we survive and we thrive.

Throughout it all, we remember to remind ourselves that we are truly blessed with 2 healthy daughters (yes, one of them is a red head). When pressed to describe me, my bald headed husband uses the adjective ‘unflappable’. For him, my adjective would be intrepid. We do really belong together.