The Double-Give

We don’t expect much from people we help in crises! But life often flips the script on us and opens us up to what I call the double-give. From a Bedouin tent in the desert of Jordan to an African family hut or inner-city children in New Orleans, to homeless folk in my city, this lesson has been driven home in a myriad of ways!

Lowered expectations often preclude any anticipation that a person in need has something to give. Often a desire to share some treasure out of his or her life is ignited. Few folk are ever only on the receiving end of kindness regardless of the circumstances! The double-give principle prompts us to be ready to receive in the midst of our giving! When they sense how much you value them, they seem to open up to share out of the storehouse of mutual grace or kindness.

My parents were magnanimous in heart and spirit! At age 11 mom and dad allowed a fatherless family of four to move in with our family of four in a two-bedroom duplex! It was supposed to have been a few days but it lasted a few months.

My sister and I simply made space for one more girl while the boys and their mother slept in the living room. When we got tired of playing games we wrote and produced plays right there in the house! Though next to the youngest of the children, writing plays seemed quite natural for me. They liked it! We put on several plays in grand style for our built-in audience.

Though my bed was crowded, the dinner table was crowded, with endless lines at the bathroom door, I didn’t need to go far to find new friends. I came to believe in the principle of the double-give anticipating life-treasure waiting to be exchanged between both givers and receivers!

What we gained from each other remains immeasurable! I learned that most often we don’t have room for people to come into our lives; rather, we must make room for people to enter our lives! From childhood through adulthood, I’ve been reminded that life is severely diminished when we focus so intensely on our own personal needs to the exclusion of others! The principle of the double-give has allowed me to emerge from such moments deeply enriched in spirit, friendships, and life lessons!

Valuing the gifts and abilities of others in dire circumstances, regardless of their outward appearance, status or position in life is an unusual fountainhead of blessings and friendships! Traveling to several African and Asian nations, my strongest memories are not what I gave them in service but what they poured into my life out of the substance of their own. The principle of the double-give continues to inform, orient, enrich, and strengthen my life today! This I believe.