Dating is a battle wound…
I believe that dating is a battle wound. Whenever I dated someone and things don’t end well. It leaves me broken… wounded.
When dating people I spend all my time and focus on that one person. I start to lose focus on who I am and what I need for myself. He then becomes my idol, we begin to drift away. We break up… I am once again wounded.
As a child I thought it was normal to date people, my mom always had boyfriends. I thought that is how life was. I began to date but I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t know the true meaning of a relationship. When I was younger and I had little crushes. My mom thought it was cute. So it made me think it was okay to date…
Once I thought that I knew the meaning of a relationship, is when I started to date for fun because everyone was doing, and I enjoyed that satisfaction of having someone there for me. But after I was done having fun I thought when dating it was a way to find what I want in a husband. Not to find my husband but what I want in a husband. I was also much too young to be looking for a husband anyways. Or even think about getting married. But that is when I was just going through battle, to battle, to battle… it left me with many wounds. So by the time I got older it was much harder for me to even be in a relationship because I had been so wounded. I now have many trust issues, I know it’s going to be hard for me to move on and be able to let all walls down for my husband. But if I give it time, then I will heal and I will be stable for a marriage.
I have a friend that already has relationship and personal problems because of past relationships, and she was recently cheated on by the guy that she is dating. He has left her wounded; he opened up other wounds of her s that she was working on healing… I pray for her that she will learn and take my advice and work on who she is.
But as my wounds got bigger. The pain grew greater. My walls became taller, and much harder to break down.
I now know that I won’t be dating for a while. When I do date it won’t be for fun either. The next time I plan on dating is once my wounds are healed, and that I then know that I am stable enough to be in a relationship. I will be dating to find that one that I can say “I do” too.
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